Smoke gets in your eyes
Sunday, November 12, 2006
I can smell smoke. I am sitting with my computer and I do not want to get up.
I can smell smoke. I can guess what happened.
I can fell my headache coming. I can tell my screaming boiling through the surface.
Still I ignore it. I don't want to deal with it.
The smoke is wafting through my house coming from the kitchen. My house could be burning. I just want to sit before my computer, holding my baby in my arms. I'm opening another blog online.
Opening blogs is what I do best when I am all stressed up about something. I dreamed of having a really busy blog where people hang on to what I say. Yeah, everybody who opens their own blog dreams of just that.
But I digress. I am just here, ignoring this smoke which comes to choke me now. I don't want to deal with it.
My whole house reeks of smoke now.
I meant it. I am putting my feet down. Getting angrier now.
I shot out of my chair, made it to my kitchen on a run.
And I stalked away.
I feel the urge to shake and throttle coming. I want to hurt someone. I want the smoke to go away.
I smelled it all before. It was pizza, microwaved at 100% power for 20 minutes.
This time it's Quaker Oats cereal in a bowl, microwaved without water. Smoke wafting out of the microwave oven, without the fire, bowl and insides all singed brown. I am angry anyway.
Why? WHY? Why am I am blessed this way? Children who takes care of themselves, and children who loves experimentation.
This curiousity which killed a cat could someday burn my house down.
I turned on the oven fan, hoping the smoke will get sucked out.
I heard a little voice, not quite contrite said, "Are we burning the kitchen? What's burning in the kitchen?"
Sponge. Children as like sponge. I realized, again, that I shouldn't let my anger get away from me. I need to teach, not berate. I need calm amidst these smoke. I need my sensible reason underneath my headache.
I gave my child a hug, and tell him it's okay. Later, I will get my Febreeze out and try to squirt the smoke away.
The smoke swims around my house, and I feel my headache getting worse. Time for a Tylenol, Extra Strength. It's what's good for headache.
I can smell smoke. I can guess what happened.
I can fell my headache coming. I can tell my screaming boiling through the surface.
Still I ignore it. I don't want to deal with it.
The smoke is wafting through my house coming from the kitchen. My house could be burning. I just want to sit before my computer, holding my baby in my arms. I'm opening another blog online.
Opening blogs is what I do best when I am all stressed up about something. I dreamed of having a really busy blog where people hang on to what I say. Yeah, everybody who opens their own blog dreams of just that.
But I digress. I am just here, ignoring this smoke which comes to choke me now. I don't want to deal with it.
My whole house reeks of smoke now.
I meant it. I am putting my feet down. Getting angrier now.
I shot out of my chair, made it to my kitchen on a run.
"WHY DO YOU DO IT?"
"I don't know."
"ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN?"
"I don't know."
"DON'T FUCKING DO IT AGAIN!"
And I stalked away.
I feel the urge to shake and throttle coming. I want to hurt someone. I want the smoke to go away.
I smelled it all before. It was pizza, microwaved at 100% power for 20 minutes.
This time it's Quaker Oats cereal in a bowl, microwaved without water. Smoke wafting out of the microwave oven, without the fire, bowl and insides all singed brown. I am angry anyway.
Why? WHY? Why am I am blessed this way? Children who takes care of themselves, and children who loves experimentation.
This curiousity which killed a cat could someday burn my house down.
I turned on the oven fan, hoping the smoke will get sucked out.
I heard a little voice, not quite contrite said, "Are we burning the kitchen? What's burning in the kitchen?"
Sponge. Children as like sponge. I realized, again, that I shouldn't let my anger get away from me. I need to teach, not berate. I need calm amidst these smoke. I need my sensible reason underneath my headache.
I gave my child a hug, and tell him it's okay. Later, I will get my Febreeze out and try to squirt the smoke away.
The smoke swims around my house, and I feel my headache getting worse. Time for a Tylenol, Extra Strength. It's what's good for headache.
posted by Book Worm at 1:23:00 PM, | 
0 Comments:
« back home
Post a Comment