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Holding a Bag of Shit Again

Sunday, February 11, 2007
I am tired of holding a bag of shit every single fucking time my little sister change husbands. The first one, I have to live with the drama for three or four years, and plunk my own retirement money of twenty grand. I know I am supposed to think of it as money well-spent.

Actually, it's blood money. It's torture money. It's money I used to save her child, who grew up to abuse and torture my children. I know one shouldn't see evil in a child, but I assure you that this one is very good at mind-games and excellent at making all of my children cry. Every day. Every time he's around them.

Then my little sister went and got another husband. This one loves to grab her arms, and screams at her sons ears. After four years, he kicked him out, and what do I get? I lost a renter, I lost a worker. Abuse is wrong. It's wrong when a child does it to another and it's wrong when a husband does it to his wife. It's great that he finally kicked the abusive fuck. Really.

But do I get off scott-free? Oh no! That would be too good. Now, I have to immediately fill a position which my sister used to do. She knows very well that my livelihood and business depends on it, but who gives a shit.

I am done with family. Nothing can screw you over like a family can, and it makes you angrier because it shouldn't happen. Aren't family supposed to love each other?
posted by Book Worm at 7:45:00 PM, | 130 comments | Post a Comment

Blog Fodder #10 - Career

Monday, February 5, 2007
If you could go back in time and choose your career, what would it be?

Go here if you want to join.
Fodder topic posted by Heather.
I have missed four fodders. Will make up for it later.

Hindsight is often 20/20. That's really true for most people but not for me. I'd still be dithering like I always am when it comes to career and I. It has to do with not wanting to word regular hours. I want to be able to dictate when to work, and when not to.

Most careers, in order to be successful at it, requires focus and sacrifice. Having to put in 40 hours a week on a regular basis is already a sacrifice. No matter how much you love something, doing it 40 hours a week, every week for 52 weeks a year, every single year...think about it. Who loves anything that much?

Wouldn't boredom set in at some point? I initially set out to have a career in medical field. Travelling nurse to be exact. Then someone kept comparing me to my cousin who's studying to be a doctor. I so hate being compared to any one, especially if on comparison, I was found wanting!

So, two years before I could get my nursing degree (Bachelors of Science), I switch to pre-med. Not just any pre-med, but a double degree in chemistry and biochemistry. I got my BS in Chem/Bioch, applied to med school, and then forgot all about it when I found out that I would rather stay home, raise my kids, and read my books.

That's what I did. That's my career and if I have to do it all over again, I'd get there much faster. No accomplishment on this world is ever worth much if one failed at raising their kids.

Motherhood is a worthy career. Of course, there's not enough to do being a full-time Mother, so I created a home-base business so I could be a "worker" when my motherhood schedule allows me too.


posted by Book Worm at 5:22:00 PM, | 5 comments | Post a Comment


Thursday, February 1, 2007
I think I can understand now why people say an artist cannot paint with some depth until they've lived their lives.

It has to do with emotions. I noticed that I can write so much better if I feel something. Anger, lust, or disappointment. If I am in a neutral ground, I feel to content to really put much effort into writing.

There's no conflict, no regret, and much more, nothing to gripe about.

I also know that if I keep thinking this way, there's never going to be a complete book. Even if there is, do I really want to be a ranting, lusting ball of emotion? That's a long way from chapter 1 to epilogue. I surely would not want to be living in emotion for that lenght of time.


posted by Book Worm at 5:37:00 PM, | 1 comments | Post a Comment

Blog Fodder #5 - Intelligence vs. Common Sense

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
"Which is more important, intelligence or common sense?"

Go here if you want to join the Fodder
This topic is dreamed of by Karen.

As I was reading this weeks topic, I thought I blinked and landed in a beauty pageant land. "Hello there, Ms. BookWorm" says a very handsome not-Billy-Crystal host as he twinkled his question to me. "which is more important, intelligence or common sense?" he said.

After which we were sent inside a locked glass cabinet while each of us contestant give our answers. This is to insure that we don't cheat and copy each other's idea. Do you get that feeling?

I love beauty pageant when I was growing up. Those were the only nights the sleep-Nazi, aka my BookMama, allowed us to sleep late. Very, very late. Beauty pageants never aired earlier than 9 PM in my Asian country.

I believe that Albert Einstein is an intelligent person, and so is Stephen Hawking. (I have to say, for a long, long while, I thought he's the same one as Steven Hawkins of Stephen King movies!). We all know that. What is not so common was how he was sadly missing common sense.

Common sense is defined by some dictionary as "sound judgment not based on specialized knowledge; native good judgment." I don't think Einstein have it. His marriage sucks. I am a firm believer that if you were to have a good marriage, then you must have common sense. Lots of it.

Of course, a small amount of intellect goes a long way towards this common sense.

Is this begging the question of whether one is mutually exclusive of the other? Is this like saying which is better, inhaling or exhaling? That would probably lead down to a long and winding road of discussion which I don't feel up to right now.

Intelligence is defined as the capacity to acquire and apply knowledge;the faculty of thought and reason; superior powers of mind. I think they should go hand in hand. How can one have common sense if they don't have the capacity to acquire and apply knowledge?

For example a person sits on a bus stop bench. Then the rain started pouring. His intellect will identify that's it's raining and it's going to get him wet. He knows all about the chemical identity of water. As he was thinking of this, he's getting soaked through the skin. And right now, it's not really the best time to get soaked in water because we're having freezing temperatures. If he possessed common sense, at the first droplet, he'd have high-tailed it out of there and find the nearest shelter.

If I could only have one, though I'd prefer to have both, I'd side with intelligence. Common sense might just follow if I deemed it important enough to acquire.


posted by Book Worm at 6:16:00 PM, | 2 comments | Post a Comment

Golden Globe Fashion

Monday, January 15, 2007
Cameron Diaz surely missed this one. She managed to make it look good, but she should have gone to Target. Much better frock at a much lower price.

Eva's really sexy, but man. What's up with this dress? Wal-Mart sells better-looking fashion.
Oh my word! I know Golden Globe is not as good as Oscar, but why did Nicole picked out this dress?

Oh Jennifer missed this year. I think she's pretty, especially if she change her hairstyle. It's been same cut forever!
I didn't really watch the show, but I wanted to oogle the girls. Nope, I am NOT a lesbian, at least I don't think. And if I were, I don't think there'll be anything wrong with it, would there?

Okay, enough being snarky. The truth is, I'd love to be in these line-up. Coz, even if I dress fugly, I'd have tons of money to buy more fugly outfits. I want money!


posted by Book Worm at 8:58:00 PM, | 3 comments | Post a Comment

No Idea

Sunday, January 14, 2007
Here I am clueless and wanting so bad it hurts.

How does one write and crank out the words to form sentences to make paragraph, turn that paragraph into several more until there's a full chapter of words?

When I was a little girl, I would fill up "Slam Books." It will have question likes hobbies. I would always fill it up with: reading, collecting stamps, writing....

What have I written really but a few hundred letters to my favorite cousin since age 5? And letters to my father too. He worked far, far away in a hot place. For a while, I thought he worked in hell. His boss is the devil.

Then I found out that he only went abroad, into Middle East, in a place full of Arabs and oils. That's where he was working.

That is why I didn't have a father when I was growing up. I have only my mother, our boys and maids. Boys means household help which are male. We have a few. Most of them related to us. Some are by extension.

My mother adapts a lot of strays. If she could trace lineage and find out that their great-great-grandparents are cousins, why, that's related enough for her to feed you and house you.

We have so many people in our house growing up. And once a year, every 13 months or so, we have my father home from that hot place. We get him for 30-45 days a year. These went on for ten years.


posted by Book Worm at 10:00:00 PM, | 1 comments | Post a Comment

Thursday Thirteen Vol. 2

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

I like The Book Bitches site. It's a fun and sexy blog. Here's one of my favorite post - terms for penis as found in various romance books. I picked the first 13 which strikes me.

  1. virile masculinity
  2. scorching loins
  3. towering lance of love
  4. fiery brand
  5. rock-hard male loins
  6. sinewy length of him
  7. raging monster of his lust
  8. throbbing love machine
  9. blatant, aggressive, magnificent arousal
  10. burgeoning shaft
  11. engorged inflamed sex
  12. throbbing aching erection
  13. thrusting possession

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants.


posted by Book Worm at 7:52:00 PM, | 9 comments | Post a Comment